Would your Partner Make a Good Parent?

Sexually, things couldn’t be better.  You and your partner are so physically compatible, that you couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else.  But what about your partner’s performance outside the bedroom?  What if, despite all efforts to the contrary, you ended up pregnant?  He may be great in bed, but would he be a great father?

Yeah, there’s always the fantasy that he’d present you with a ring, or at least a promise to do the right thing.  And that could happen, you never know.  But it’s probably a smarter idea to find out now if you are with the kind of man, that you would want to be in that position with—knowing that a baby is on the way.  Is your man the sort who understands all the responsibilities of sex, and takes them as seriously as you do?

You’re about to learn whether you’re with a boy, a guy, or a man:

BOYZ

• A boy sees a girl—what does she look like naked?
• Girl introduces herself—guy wonders if he could have the whole package.
• Girl wants him to call her—guy thinks yeah, this is probably going to go all the way.
• Girl goes on date with guy—he brings along a prophylactic or two.
• Girl gives the guy a kiss—he wants more.
• Girl lets him touch her—he still wants more, and negotiates sex.
• Girl eventually brings up the topic of commitment—boy starts to look for another girl.

Mostly this sort of thing happens between adolescents, before the people involved have developed a sense of self-esteem.  But that doesn’t mean that similar exchanges can’t happen between adults, which could look something like this:

GUYZ

• A guy sees a gal—what does she look like naked?
• Gal flirts a little—guy knows he can have the whole package.
• Gal wants to call him—guy gives his work voicemail… you never know.
• Gal calls to ask him out—guy decides on Monday evening, early drinks.
• Gal imagines a wedding and kids—guy imagines an evening where she doesn’t talk too much.
• Gal initiates sex with him – guy plans out a swift departure.
• Gal keeps calling and calling – good thing I didn’t give her my cell number.
• Gal writes all men off as pigs – guy thinks he might like to have sex with her again.

In this example, there’s not much development from the boy stage to the guy stage, emotionally or mentally.  This time, he knows how one-sided everything is, and worse, he’s intentionally keeping that information to himself.

MEN

• A man finds a woman—what does she want from life?
• Woman responds favorably—man wonders, could she be as capable and open as she seems?
• Man asks her out—woman accepts with enthusiasm.
• Woman tells man her aspirations for life—man notes that these are the same as his.
• Woman sees man behaving consistently with his words—man develops respect.
• Man drops the drawbridge to his heart—woman drops her drawers.
• Woman tells the truth—man speaks his ind.
• Woman and man head down the path toward awareness and enhancing each other’s lives!

It is perfectly normal to want sex, and of course with all that comes the desire to be touched, held, and be close with someone.  It’s all part of your awareness of your path of growth, and your place on this planet.  In the meantime, however, it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of the difference between the men and the boyz, and it can help tremendously—when building the relationship you really want… even if kids aren’t part of that picture.

The definitions of boyz, guyz, and men come from Chapter Six of Maryanne’s latest book, Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers. If you’d like some time-tested, practical tools for your Relationship Tool Belt, you can buy the book at www.maryannelive.com and learn how to turn your dream relationship into reality! To see Maryanne talking about navigating relationships in shadows that are larger than life, watch the video: